What I'm Thankful For

Awwh, don't you just want to shove that cupcake in your face?

Despite the little cupcake turkey's pleads, I plan on eating a ridiculous amount of turkey this thanksgiving.

Anyways, I know when grandma puts the food down we all forget this, but on thanksgiving you're suppossed to recognize all the things you are thankful for.

So since this is very cliche and expected, I must do it.

Here's a list of things I'm thankful for:

*My friends and family (Of course!)

*The birth of Will Ferrell

*Comedy

*The ability to read

*Rue21

*Turkey

*Ham

*Gravy

*Pie

*The sun

*Snow

*Long funny socks

*Sock monkeys

*The things my parents provide for me when they can

*My sister's ability to take my breath away from laughing so hard

*Nail polish

*Hairspray

*Seventeen Magazine

*Stephen King

*Stephanie Meyer

*J.K. Rowling

*Cats

*Freedom

*Teachers who don't pay attention

*Substitutes

*All the years I've been blessed with

*Donuts

*Food

 

...I'm really hungry now...

 

 

Things I Suck At vs. Things I Rock At

Things I Suck At:

*Making a good first impression

*Singing

*Moving past awkward moments

*Remembering

*Ignoring every little paranoid moment

*Killing wasps

*Confrontation

*Focusing on one thing at a time

*Knowing when not to laugh

*Staying mad

 

Things I Rock At:

*Writing (poetry, short stories, etc.)

*Coming up with ideas (what to do on a boring weekend, what to do an essay on, you name it.)

*Tetris

*Making someone feel good about themselves

*Being a smart alec

*Making decisions (it takes me awhile to process, but I make the right one.)

*Letting go

*Dreaming

*Finding really good books

*Making playlists

*Pretending I don't care

 

   

 

   We all have this list. But not all of us have taken the time to write (or type) it down. But in my case, I have a lot of free time. So I did it. Now, this list could've gone on forever but I just put down what popped into my head. Nothing really special or significant. But it's enough to give you a little insight on who I am. Right?

 

 

 

 

I Can't Be The Only One

   I know I can't be the only one to be so.. awkward. You know what? Awkward's not the word. Awkward has been turned into a cute thing now. And what I am is definitely not that. It's not that I'm shy or anything. Or clumsy, goofy, and still somehow charming. No. I'm not the lead in a teen movie.

   Take this picture for example. Some say it's an exaggeration. But for me, it's not much of one.

No matter what I've ever done, I've been sufficiently weird about it. No matter how simple the task. Like talking to a person. Or asking for a piece of gum.

   I'm telling you it doesn't matter what I'm doing, when I do it I get this look like.. o.O

   I'm not weird in a cute way, I'm weird in a way that will make you scoot away if I was to sit next to you. (Which has happened.)

   A lot of people don't like me.

   Some people do.. the say I'm not freaky weird, I'm funny weird.

   Which is better than just creepy weird... which I can be.

   I wish I had some sort of filter every other teenager seems to have. Like what not to do. When not to twitch your eye. I don't know.. I feel like a lost cause.

                             I can't be the only one... *sighs* but maybe I am.

                                          I guess that's okay though.

Having Fun

This is me and my friends at the end of the funnest day of sophomore year. I'm the one with both her hands on her hips. Lol.

Yes, we went mudding.

But that wasn't even the half of it.

The whole day was great.

I was in a good mood all day, I was reunited with an old friend. I got to talk to a sweet guy (after talking to a jerk for a week) and I had a lot of fun.

It was nice not to worry.

To have fun, and still smile about it later when you see the pics on facebook.

To have no regrets, even after getting in a bit of trouble.

Right after school, we went a swang on the playground.

It was fun, and we looked crazy.

Then we went and ate at our favorite restaurant in town.

And fought over the chocolate brownie desert.

Then we went mudding.

It was a blast.

We all go a little crazy sometimes.

We all need to.

Rude Awakening

   This entry won't be a cheesy inspiration or vague description. This will just be me venting.
I like this guy... well I don't know if I really like him, or just kinda like him. Get what I'm saying? Probably not...
   Anyways, when I'm around him I have a good time, and I know he really likes me. But I don't know enough about him to date yet. Which is why we're 'talking'. Yes, I like him. But I want things to go super slow. In the past, I would rush into every relationships. The results? ...Not good...
   So I figured I'd listen to my fortune cookies' advice. It said 'slow but steady wins the race'. So I really want to take my time. Make sure dating him would be the right thing.
   My best friend says she knows I'll end up dating him. Which I don't know how she can say that when I'm not really sure I want to date anyone.. or him yet. She says she can tell by the way we act around each other.
   This shouldn't be such a big problem... but almost none of my friends like this guy. I've heard "he gives me a weird vibe..." "he's a liar.." and "..i just don't wanna see you get hurt...". I'm confused. My friends have never been this sceptical of a guy before.
   I think I'm being smart about taking my time... but I wish I knew already what to do.
   I don't like the conflict between him and my friends. And I don't get it.

DayDreaming

Everyone recognizes the face of a day dreamer.

Hopefully I wasn't as noticeable today.

   I fall asleep with my arms wrapped around him. Everything in me feels warm and cozy. I feel safe. He looks down and me and kisses my forehead. Then falls asleep with me in his arms. We're together. In a perfect frame like the movies portray.

Then when I snap out of it I'm forced to face the reality.

Which isn't so bad. It's not as good as a dream, but it has it's perks.

Like the guy I think about, thinks about me too.

The guy I want, wants me too.

That dream isn't out of reach.

Then that peaceful feeling crashes over me as I realize...

My dream could come true.



Clean Air

So it didn't go how I had planned... or originally hoped. But that's okay. There was a sort of peace I felt afterwards that replaced the insecurities.

I may have a weak little heart, but it's getting stronger.

I may not be the most confident, but I know myself well enough to love what I have.

Mom's tell us all through childhood "At least you tried."

Some tell you that's to cushion the blow of losing.

But I think there's truth there.

What did I lose?

Nothing.

What did I gain?

A lot.

And all because I tried.

I put myself out there, and although the results weren't ideal, they worked for me.

There's still hope.

And I've got a tight grip on it.

Here's to silly crushes.

Glad they bring some good.

Butterflies Inhabit My Stomach:Get Help

                                     You can't die from it, but it can feel like it's killing you.

        At least that's how I feel.

   When I thought about my day's menu. I had no intention of ordering frustration with a side of nerves. But life's ditsy waiter slapped down a big helping of it.

       "I'm sorry, Can I have the care-free sundae instead?"

"No refunds."

Today should've been a good day. Someone took an actual interest in me. But disapproval can take the butterflies away as quickly as they come. And replace them with a nagging feeling of lame awareness.

That this is reality.



 



Confused and Confiscated Emotion

I don't know what to think.

Not only did a friend 'spill the beans' to my crush...

Apparently someone has a crush on me.

What kind of fool has a crush on me???

They're getting in the way of my fantasy... who am I kidding?

Fantasy is just a dream.

My crushee is getting in the way of nothing.

*Sighs*

And my crush now knows I like them.

*More dramatic prolonged sigh*

And I don't know how to react to any of this.

My Little HummingBird Heart

Ever been so liberated by such a simple thing that it makes you question your sanity?

Like if your crush talks to you?

Or accepts your friend request?

Well imagine how I feel after both happened in one day.

THAT'S RIGHT

I was lucky enough to get the joyful notification 'So and So accepted your friend request'.

Then, later that day, I was even luckier to have an actual mini conversation with that 'So and So'.

I'm on top of the world

Call me crazy.

Maybe I am.

Because afterwards my heart fluttered as rapidly as a hummingbird's wings.



Life as a Zombie

   Zombie literally is my nickname. Why? Some say it's because I have a very mono-tone voice.
                            Other's say it's because I walk the halls well.. like a zombie.
  I embrace the nickname. It's kind of cool. Not really a mean label, it's just how people perceive me  from an outsider's take on things.
                             As a zombie there are things I'd like to warn other zombie's about.
   If you're a zombie, you might as well forget about getting checked out. Ever. No one looks at an emotionless, zoned out, zombie with any form of desire.
   If you're a zombie, you won't be very popular. Zombie's don't like to be social. So it's pretty understandable that a zombie won't win prom queen. Ya following me here?
   If you're a zombie, not just anyone will take the time to get to know you. Zombie's are stand-offish. So if they have any friends, they're probably strange ones. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But if you're not very open minded, laid back, and don't care what people think... well the zombie life isn't for you.
   If you're a zombie, you'll have to work harder to get what you want. Everyone will assume you have no goals, ambitions, or dreams. Can you blame them? You're a zombie! So to prove everyone wrong it'll take what energy/life you have to work towards your goals.
   Finally, if you're a zombie, you don't have to be sad. Or emotionless. You can actually be very happy. Just... at peace. Relaxed. Laid back. Carefree. Do  you understand?
                                            Being a Zombie is a way of life.
                                                      It's not for everyone.
  

That Cliche Awkward Crush

I'm currently experiencing one of life's greatest pains. Having a crush on someone way out of your league.
I don't even know how the crush started. Okay, I know exactly how it started. With him walking in the room while I was staring at the door. Then couldn't seem to take my eyes off him. I wonder if I'm being obvious. When he looks up, I look down. When he's talking to me (which has only happened like, once) I hide my inner excitement. By the way, my outside appearance could be compared to that of a zombie.

I'm an emotionless tired girl on the outside.

I'm a hyper active crazy girl on the inside.

 

But even despite the fact that I know what I need to do, and what I'm doing wrong, I can't even bring myself to utter a simple "Hey." in the hallways to this guy.
Why am I so intimidated by him? Guys have always been dopey, and easy to deal with. I've never gotten so worked up over someone.
As cliche as this is, I'm in way over my head.

Bucket List (Unfinished)

• Streak and get away with it
• Spend a night in jail
• Go somewhere out of the country
• Meet someone famous
• Sky dive
• Climb a giant tree and not fall down and break my neck
• Get a tattoo
• Shave half my head
• Dye my hair any color of the rainbow (or all of them)
• Have a book published
• Watch a Drag Queen stand up comedy show live
• Ride a zipline
• Go hang gliding
• Cliff dive into water
• Swim with dolphins
• Swim with sharks
• Ride in a helicopter
• Meet an actual British person face to face
• Go to Alaska
• Go to Rio
• Help someone complete their Bucket List
• Own a white horse
• Own shining armor
• Hug a koala
• Pull the biggest prank ever
• Break a world record
• Do a 5k for Breast Cancer

Hilarious :D

                       This is so true and hilarious. I love when she does videos like this. Lol.

Funniest Youtube Chick Ever To Walk The Face Of The Planet

Jenna Marlbes

She is the funniest girl on youtube, hands down. When I'm feeling upset or just need to frikkin laugh, I go to her videos. She makes new ones every wednesday and I look foward to them.

Some people call her 'weird' but I think that's just part of her hilariousness. She's also very real and I love that.

Jenna Marbles, I love you. :)

 

Your Last Move

What'll be your last move,
When our world burns down,
Will you wipe my tears,
Or let them cause me to drown,
Will you forget the wrong,
Will you toss fear away,
What would you do,
If our world ended today,
I'd run wild and cry,
For joy that peace is here,
Death brings release,
Life brings fear,
If today was your last,
Would you spend it with me,
Knowing we'd be together,
As death sets us free.

What Art Is

  Art can take on so many forms, depending on the artist. I don't just mean painting. I mean writing, music, sculpting, singing, basically anything that you use to express yourself is art. If it can inspire, it's art. If it can amaze, it's good art. If it becomes part of you, it's extraordinary art.